Tuesday, November 6, 2012
It's been a while since I've felt this alone. I didn't realize how hard tonight would hit me until I was trying to accept the inevitable while working with a room (and probably hospital) full of liberal agnostics. I love my job, I think the hospital is a fabulous place to work, and I have phenomenal coworkers. But when it comes to politics, morals, and especially faith, I stand nearly alone. Most days it's okay because I know that I have a wonderful support system outside of work. I have the most solid foundation, my rock I turn to when everything else is in shambles. My family, my friends, my God. That foundation is escaping me right now. I should have stayed off of Facebook. I see so many "friends" who are celebrating tonight and I'm torn between shame and judgment. These are people who were raised Catholic, many of whom still claim to be Catholic, and I want to grab them by their collars and scream, "What the hell are you thinking?" Strong words, I know. But I cannot mentally grasp how you can watch the attack on religious freedom, on life, on God, that has happened over the last 4 years and still be so blind. I look at everyone who is in victory mode right now and I can't help but despair for our country. Tell me how it matters what your tax bracket looks like if you lose your basic freedoms. Tell me how it matters what our foreign policy is when we are murdering thousands of innocent lives every day. I am ashamed of the Catholics who swayed this election. I'm afraid for the country they've created and what it will require of me to stand firm in such a hostile environment. I'm praying fervently that when I wake tomorrow, I will feel hope and love instead of fear and hatred. I pray that my prayers may be ones of compassion and not desperation. I pray that I can take the plank out of my own eye before I judge all of those whose actions and words I'm struggling now to understand. We were never promised an easy road. But we were promised that we would not stand alone in our persecution. I pray that tomorrow I may feel less alone.
I reserve the right to make this blog as worthless to read as I feel like, and also to write as infrequently as I deem necessary. Just thought I'd let you know since I finally decided to share my blog.