How NOT to spend a day off

I got a letter yesterday stuck in my door saying that for the next week, there would be construction guys doing work on the balcony above me. The letter lied. The guys have been electric sawing and hammering and what-not on MY balcony ALL DAY. It started out promising when their music of choice was Transsiberian Orchestra. But that lasted for one song and has segued into music reminiscent of the derelict painter boys that I worked with at Regis several summers ago. You know, the kind of music that gives you a headache after one verse.

Why have you been home all day? you may ask. Well, today marks the very first day that I have ever called in sick to work. I couldn't even do that right. After a miserable day yesterday, I came home and got 11 hours of sleep, determined to go back to work today. I lasted about an hour before deciding that I wasn't gonna make it. So I still got the benefit of waking up at 5. Don't worry. Here's been my day since then:

Drink tea, watch Mad About You, take a nap, take some drugs, more tea, more Mad About You, another nap, eat soup, more tea, more drugs, eat some ice cream, discover cold feels better than hot, try to nap and get disturbed by aforementioned hammering and sawing, watch Pride and Prejudice (with subtitles because I can't hear anything), drink more tea, more drugs, drive to Starbucks for a Frappucino because I'm out of ice cream, and that brings us to now. I'm about due for more drugs. And because of all the tea, I think I've gone to the bathroom about every half hour except when I've been napping.

Despite the tea and the ice cream and the soup and the Frappucino, my throat still feels like somebody ripped it out, blew it up to twice its normal size, shredded it with a razor, and stuck in back in my body. It has never hurt so bad in my life. If I never had to swallow again, I'd be a happy camper. Since that's not likely, I think I'll try some more soup. And maybe another nap. I hate being sick.

On the plus side, my voice sounds less like a man today. Mostly because it sounds less like anything today since I can hardly speak. "I'm speechless. That never happens!" Okay, I'm done. Back to the couch.