The end of another year, another failure to send my inaugural Christmas letter. So, instead, per usual (which is one letter off from perusal, and yes, that's how my brain works), I present the year-end summary. Also per usual, I reread last year's chronicles in preparation and for inspiration and realized that I had been feeling a tug toward a new profession for much of last year. Prophetic? Maybe. God? Certainly.
The obvious earth-shattering news of the year is my departure from the world of Pharmacy. And while surprisingly, I don't miss Pharmacy (though I truly "left" Pharmacy when I took a leadership position, let's be honest), and I certainly don't miss many aspects of leadership, I still find myself in this weird duality. On the one hand, I know with certainty that God dropped this opportunity in my lap, and so I feel at peace with the change and with the new direction. On the other hand, any career about-face is unsettling and I have been living the pain of Brene Brown's FFTs for the last 5 months. I don't think anyone who hasn't gone through this massive shift really understands the way it can feel like NBD and such a massively huge deal at the same time. Logically, I know that it will take months, if not years, for Process Improvement to feel like my home, and that the learning curve will remain steep for some time. I am playing a long game, but knowing that doesn't make the present feel any easier. There are some days that I feel I am using my strengths and crushing it, and other days that I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. And for the love, if someone gives me the generic platitude "you're doing great" one more time, I will scream. Non-specific feedback, even positive feedback, is worthless. Rant over.
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| New work team, easing the pain of transition |
The other big news of the year was losing the wombmate and the littles to Nebraska. There are few other cities that would have felt as manageable given the flight costs, driving distance, annual lecture trip, friend base, and general familiarity, but that doesn't make it less sucky. I'm grateful for a job that will accommodate frequent trips; grateful that even though Southwest keeps changing my flight times, they provide inexpensive and usually hassle-free transportation; and especially grateful for the 'rents watching the dog and being my airport shuttle service. Two 2022 trips are already booked, with presumably a few more later in the year. Video chats with the kiddos definitely don't hold a candle to games of tag and collect-the-acorns and movie nights and watching E crack an egg for our baking extravaganza.
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| Family photos before the big move |
Taking a look at the perennial New Year's resolution, part of me thinks that such a massive career change would count as all three things outside my comfort zone that scare me. I'd even let you break it down into different elements of stretching me- working from home, totally new field, and a new boss after 6 years of A+ management, taking a pretty hefty pay cut. I guess if you were going to force me to branch out a little, I could also name leading a really massive project at work while my boss was on maternity leave (we had a project manager, who quit, and then I became the project manager), going to my first Denver meet-up with a bunch of strangers and actually making conversation, and attempting caramel for the first time as part of a crazy Easter present for my brother-in-law in which my kitchen almost exploded. Totally worth it once, but never again.
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| The amazing Garden and Gun Caramel Cake |
My comfort zone accounted for a much larger percentage of the year, with old hat hobbies like ultimate frisbee, a softball tournament, lots of baking (still a big fan of the Great British Baking Show, still making Mary Berry's florentines), checking in campers for Camp Wojtyla, hitting a couple new breweries (now at 111 if you count off-shoot "brewhouse" as a brewery), lots of Hallmark movies, lots of podcasts and books for both growth and enjoyment, another Creighton lecture (probably my last since I don't even work in the field anymore), a distillery tour, a few wine tastings, too many hours wasted on killer sudoku, and far too few meaningful encounters with friends (though the ones I did have fed my soul and showered graces upon me).
My new place for the year was Montana, visiting Aunt Carol and experiencing the wildlife of Yellowstone- bison, bighorn sheep, coyotes, wolves (awesome!), a bald eagle, thousands of elk.
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| Bighorn Sheep |
No moose, despite our best efforts, but I made up for that by having a run-in (literally) with a moose while driving from Gunnison to the Uncompahgre Peak trailhead at zero-dark-thirty in August. Fortunately, I was not driving and more fortunately, super minimal damage to my friend's truck. Uncompahgre was a worthy 14er, made much easier by starting at the upper trailhead and slightly harder by the snowfall the night before, which made the chimney a little more treacherous.
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| Uncompahgre Peak, super interesting profile |
Thankfully, my health has held this year, and for the most part, I can say the same of those close to me. A few scares throughout the year were enough to have me counting my blessings. After several months of physical therapy for a torn labrum, I can say with confidence that I make a terrible patient. Case in point: I injured my shoulder about 4 years ago and only sought diagnosis and treatment this spring. So I'll continue my morning walks, my lack of vitamins, my attempt at vegetables, and my occasional bike ride, realizing that the deeper I get into my 30's, the less sufficient that will be.
Writing this obviously turned into more of a word vomit for myself than a humor-laced retrospective for an outside audience, further proof that I'm not ready for a clever tongue-in-cheek Christmas letter. Still worthwhile to take stock of a difficult year and remind myself of the hard lessons and the silver linings.
