Friday, January 30, 2009


My day today:
Sleep in. Hot granola and juice. Browse Barnes and Noble, then read for an hour while savoring a grande half-caf Americano with milk. Watch Mad About You. Pasta and cookies for lunch. Meeting at work. Boo that. More coffee, this time a decaf nonfat mocha, with Mary at Caffeine Dreams. Got my CDs back--yay DeYarmond Edison. Bought Dr. No and X-Men for a total of $14. Went to dinner with Marijo. New restaurant called Blue Planet. Portabello and Swiss veggie burger, sweet potato fries with chipotle lime cilantro organic ketchup. Yes, it was that kind of restaurant, but very tasty. Home now to watch one of my new movies. What a lovely Friday.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Lenten Resolutions

Well, I haven't found enough time or motivation to sit down and hash out my New Year's Resolutions for this year. I mean, I have goals that I have set to accomplish. Climb at least 2 14ers. Go to a WPS game. Survive my residency. Buy a house. But nothing really on the longitudinal scale of a New Year's Resolution.

Speaking of resolutions, I have, however, discovered what my Lenten journey will NOT involve this year. I will NOT be giving up caffeine. I used to laugh that my mom had her Diet Pepsi and popcorn every afternoon at work for as long as I can remember (until she had to radically change her diet). And then I had a 24-pack of Diet Coke in my apartment courtesy of my loving parents who do their darndest to spoil me from 500 miles away. And after a month of Diet Coke every afternoon at about 1:00, I ran out at the end of last week. I couldn't figure out why I had been so tired this whole week when the clock hit about 2:00pm. Today, I had an epiphany. My body became severely dependent upon that caffeine fix after lunch. When you average 10-hour days, you need a little boost midway through. So I will be making a grocery run shortly. Probably not tonight because Knight Rider is on, and I love my guilty pleasure TV. But tomorrow for sure. Or Friday. Which I'm taking as a PTO-burn day. Basically I saved up so much PTO that I get to burn days as "mental health" days to break up my 12-in-a-row. Only I have to go in for an hour meeting that I scheduled without thinking. Oops. Only myself to blame.

I got interrupted by a phone call from a wonderful friend and as I sit back down, I am no longer in the blogging mood. Until next time.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

I hate my life

I don't really hate my life, but when the sound of running water wakes you up and you realize it's coming from your apartment and then you realize it's the sound of water pouring through the vent in your bathroom ceiling onto your toilet and rug (after you just cleaned everything yesterday) and then you realize it's also coming through your closet and splashing on all your shoes and then it splashes on you and you notice it smells like vomit and then you go upstairs to figure out what's going on and the tenants barely speak English, and all of this is at 6:30 on a Sunday morning on what feels like my first weekend off in months, then yes, I hate my life. And I just want to scream and hit something, but I won't. But I want to. Real bad. Maintenance won't be here for another twenty minutes or so, and I have to pass the time.

Here's what I'd get up for at 6:00 in the morning on a weekend when I'm already sleep-deprived:
- A Women's National Team soccer game. Probably not just any game, but definitely a World Cup or Olympic game. And that's to watch it on TV or my computer. I'd get up much earlier if it meant I got to watch it in person.
- A family trip to Indy. Not that I love them, but usually I don't get much say in the start time. I'm used to it though.
- World Youth Day. To date, it was I think the earliest I'd ever gotten up (for Denver, not Toronto, although that was an early wake-up call as well), but so totally worth it.
- Right now I'm tired enough that I can't think of much else that would be worth it.

Things I would not get up at 6:00 in the morning (or earlier) for:
- Idiot neighbors blaring the music on Halloween.
- Idiot neighbors breaking the glass door on New Year's Eve.
- Idiot neighbors blaring the radio and screaming on a random day in the middle of the week (I would say blaring music, but it was really mostly talk radio)

Okay, I don't feel any better. And it's only been about five minutes. I think I'll make some coffee and go watch Chuck. I really want to scream!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Emotional Heimlich

So, Pushing Daisies has this great line about a hug being an emotional heimlich where somebody puts their arms around you and squeezes you and all your fear and anxiety come shooting out of your mouth in a big wet wad and you can breathe again. You know what else is like that emotional heimlich? Finding out you are going back to Colorado.

After almost 7 years (really it's barely six and a half, especially if you count all the time spent away), one phone call forced all of the fear and anxiety out of my mouth. It was the biggest wettest wad, and now I can breathe again. It's funny how life comes full circle. I worry and panic and study my butt off (and play a lot of computer games and watch a lot of Alias bloopers) for so many years, and then one day all of a sudden, I'm 30-year-old Jenna Rink realizing I got everything I always wanted. Hopefully that's where the parallel ends and I don't end up wishing for it all to do over again after I realize that I wanted the wrong things. But I don't think I've wanted the wrong things. Not when everybody and their brother has been praying for me, and I've been praying that God's will be done and that I may come to desire whatever that will is. This is how it's supposed to be.

I feel a little bit like I've been waiting for my life to start, which saddens me a little to know that I probably haven't been living life to the fullest because I've been hanging my hopes on the dream of someday being back in Colorado. But mostly, I'm excited. And relieved. Okay, like 90% relieved and 10% excited. But that will change as it gets closer.

One of the best parts is that I don't have to start at Children's right away. I get about a month between the end of my residency and new employee orientation to move my stuff, find a house, and do all the stuff that's been on hold for 7 years. I think I might take a wild and crazy vacation. Go stay at a little bed and breakfast on the New England coast and ride bikes and look for seashells. Or spend a week as a cowgirl in Wyoming, herding cattle on a dude ranch and falling asleep sore and exhausted every night underneath the stars. Or maybe go to Vancouver and see the beauty of British Columbia. Definitely I will be hitting up some Rockies and Rapids games. And spending time with the fam. (Especially since I won't be seeing much of them once I start work as I'll be on the evening shift) I know the time will fly and I'll be hard at work again before I know it, but it can't go any faster than this year has. Look at me still living in the future when I have a perfectly good present.

I'm going to remedy that with a little tuna noodle casserole and some Mad About You. Yes my friends, just me and my comfort food and my couch, enjoying a night off. Thanks for all the prayers. You gave me my emotional heimlich, even if you didn't know that's what you were doing.
I reserve the right to make this blog as worthless to read as I feel like, and also to write as infrequently as I deem necessary. Just thought I'd let you know since I finally decided to share my blog.