Friday, March 23, 2012

Speaking of being long overdue...

It's been awhile since I've posted, mostly because I can't keep a train of thought for longer than about seven seconds. So sitting down to write a blog post has seemed a little daunting. Plus I used all my writing skills on Hilary's Wheat Letter. Sorry to the rest of RM TEC 131, you get nothing because like every other TEC, this weekend snuck up on me without so much as a warning and I have no time. Still, sending you love and prayers.

Speaking of TEC...Angie McCann has got to have the world's most pure, most loving, most welcoming heart. I swear, every time I see her, it's like she has been waiting all day just to give me a hug. People like that make it hard to feel justified when you just want to wallow in a bad mood.

Speaking of not wallowing in bad moods...I saw a bumper sticker today that said "Don't Postpone Joy." Doesn't that just say it all? I'm so glad it didn't say "Don't Postpone Happiness" or "Don't Postpone Pleasure." Because those can leave you empty if that's all you seek. But joy, oh joy. It lifts up the soul, it is not fleeting, it grounds me in turbulent times. Sometimes I forgot the mass of joy that sits inside me. It's there, because even on the days I forget, I still believe Jesus when He said He came "that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete." I am reminded of that joy when I catch a glimpse of the impossibly blue, white-capped Rockies. When I catch myself singing along to an upbeat song in the car. When I take stock of everything that is going right in my life. When I take that first sip of coffee. (And I want to clarify that something as mundane as coffee can bring joy rather than happiness, because when I savor it, I thank God for the blessing of the small joys in life and am reminded of His love for me)

Speaking of's one thing I do well. I hate to brag (who'm I kidding, I love to brag), but I make a darn good cup o' joe. One more thing to offer to my future soul mate who is floating out there in the universe. Is it sad that that's what I think of when I make coffee? That I want someone to make it for? To appreciate my subtle talent for grinding beans, measuring grounds, hitting the 'on' button. Am I that lonely? I'd like to think it's just me preparing my heart to serve, but I think somewhere in there is some extreme selfishness that I'll probably need to purge before I'm ready to meet Mr. Right.

Speaking of purging...Lent is hard. Harder than I remember. It's certainly bringing to light that my will power is so weak. I consider myself to be a strong person, physically, mentally, occasionally emotionally, sometimes spiritually. But my ability to exercise self control is about up there with my ability to whistle and wink. It doesn't exist. I've tried to practice, I've tried to have people teach me tricks. But I am a weak-willed individual, and it's disheartening. However, buck up Michelle, we're more than halfway there. I will run the race, I will cross the finish line. And I will continue to stock up on sweets throughout the week, saving them for Sundays (and those blessed solemnities that seem to pop-up at the most needed times).

Speaking of looking forward to Tracy's visit. We're gonna knock off a couple more beers on my tour (getting close to 100, folks), do a little painting at Canvas and Cocktails, hit up some fabulous restaurants, cheer on the Avs in their hunt for the playoffs, and in general try to convince her to move back to Colorado. With how crazy things have been at work, we could use another good pharmacist.

Speaking of work...someday soon, I'm going to have a drug-name pictionary t-shirt to show off. That's all I'm going to say about work, because even though I love my job, sometimes it's better not to get started on the egos of surgeons and how pleas fall on deaf ears. That's all I'm speaking of today.

1 comment:

Laura Zaps said...

Speaking of work, I'm just saying that the number of times the need for an alcoholic beverage following today was brought up by someone other than me was a lot. And I seconded it whole-heartedly. And now I'm having a margarita. Because watching someone do chest compressions for 40 minutes while the ECMO circuit is set up and knowing you can't help because you have to take care of the other patients who are thalamic storming, trying to throw themselves out of bed, in heart failure, in SVT, and running NIFs of -8 (don't know how familiar you are with NIFs, but -8 sucks) is way beyond a stressful day at the office.

I reserve the right to make this blog as worthless to read as I feel like, and also to write as infrequently as I deem necessary. Just thought I'd let you know since I finally decided to share my blog.